Xab Pheej Kim Interview

My story:

I’ve thought about this topic for a long time, I’ve tried to start the story from the day of my birth to my earliest memory of the city I was born, but after so many attempts, my conclusion was, who really cares about the place or day I was born.

Who really care about my life? It wasn’t full of sunshine and rainbows. I didn’t have a mentor who taught and guided me in music nor have I ever been part of a really good band. I didn’t have a huge network of musicians growing up.  I don’t have a lot of happy stories to tell and share.  It may not benefit anyone by reading this.

My life in music was full of struggles and punishments. Discouragements, one after another. It started from the top down, from my parents to my siblings, and all my relatives. Music was not the goal or objective for the family. Music was just for entertainment and the dreams of a child. No one supported me to pursue music. In fact my very own brothers did what they could to discourage me from learning music.

I knew from an early age that I loved music. When I was little, I remember the temple in Vientiane held festivals every summer.  This was my opportunity to go and watch the events.  These Festivals sold tickets to get in.  I was a child, I had no money and I wasn’t allowed to go.  The only way for me to attend, was to sneak in.  I would climb over the fence, jump on a tree branch, or even crawled underneath the stage to get to the other side, just to see the shows.  Once I got in, no one threw me out, so I was able to watch the performances.  I also went to the back stage. I was a kid, so I was free to go anywhere, without the adults paying too much attention. I saw the musicians set up, do their make-up, and even watched the performers interact and converse with each other.  I realized there were organization and foundation behind show business.

As a result of my defiance I was punished by my older brothers, but I never gave up.  I continued to learn and study music on my own. I went out, again and again, to take in and learn as much as I could about the world of show business. These were the times in my past where I truly realized exactly what I wanted to do.

Unfortunately this was not something my family supported. I was referred to as the naughtiest, dirtiest, and most arrogant boy in the world. I told my family, “You can beat me up, but you can’t stop me from learning”. I wasn’t naughty, dirty, or arrogant, I was just trying to study and learn music.

“I will not cry, I’ll just let them beat me.  Turn my body side to side, so it won’t be the same spot twice, it wouldn’t hurt so much and the blow would heal quickly.”  I remember vividly thinking to myself these thoughts.

Fast forward to1980, my family and I immigrated to Canada.  By this time, I was about 15 years old.  My first job was a part time janitor at the local Public Library.  Here, I discovered the Media Center and after work, I watched all the documentaries on popular western music.  Although my life had changed drastically from the villages of Laos to an immigrant of Canada, my passion and desire for music was still heavily engraved in me.  I had the perfect opportunity to nurture my talent.  I learned to play the guitar by taking lessons, took a music class in middle school and I joined a band and sang in a music competition which I placed 3rd in my category. 

Thru my observations and self-teachings, I was ready to put my knowledge to work. Within a few years, I had written a collection of songs.  With very little emotional and financial support from my family, I produced my 1st Album in 1983. It was published in 1985.  I flew to California and released the album.  It was a success.  I was known as the “Khaws Cuab Nab Singer”

Since then, I have produced 4 additional albums up to the year 2005.  Despite my popularity, I have never performed in my own concert.

Finally, after waiting for years, I hosted my 1st Concert at the Northrop Theatre in Minneapolis in 2019. This theatre was the most prestigious stage that any Hmong artist could have ever performed on. I wanted to bring a new experience to Live Hmong music and provide a professional stage for incoming new Artists.  However, the result was not as expected. I felt I had failed. Everything leading up to the concert seemed right, but it was a failure.  Perhaps, I waited too long. Generations of Hmong musicians had past and I was not the popular musician I used to be. This was the last performance I would give as a musician and it was not a success.

As time went by, my heartache healed and I came to see that this was not a failure at all. This was just the start. I realized that the Hmong people were not ready for the caliber of performance I had set up. The prestige and the grand stage. The simple fact is that our community did not know how to act at something of this level.

Instead of calling it quits, I felt something more. This performance was the push I needed to realize that the energy is there and just waiting for a guide. I will be that guide. My goal now is to guide our Hmong Entertainment community to the new horizons of modern and sophisticated performances. My goal now is to teach, to share and to promote our music community so I am not the last to perform on the Northrop stage.

Now is the time for us to move forward.

I wrote this thinking that it would be the end of my story, but I can promise you, this is only the beginning.